I have always loved to dance. As an adult adoptee, a bio mom, and an adoptive mom, I dance between love and loss regularly. I dance with joy over small victories and small signs of acceptance. I dance to escape pain and to avoid obvious rejection from my family(ies). Let me continue to dance with the pain, the understanding, the surrender, His plan, and not faint.

 Do you know . . . I can’t even watch the previews, the Oprah interviewish show about it, let alone the show.

I just feel excluded . . . a large portion of adoptees (and others, I’m sure) are excluded from this kind of research which changes one’s perception of “Who we think we are.”  Many adoptees are not allowed to know their heritage.  It’s all a big secret, and we’re just supposed to accept that.

Truth is, I have two heritages.  I have the heritage of the family who has raised me–my family, which probably shows up in my values, my ways of life, some of my mannerisms, my loyalties, etc.  And, I have the heritage of my birthfamily that is in my blood, body, face, hair, and more than I know.

So the adoptee can research the heritage of the adoptive family and feel somewhat removed from it . . . since the ancestry there really isn’t theirs.

And, then the adoptee–after digging to find scraps and trails of information to even locate his/her birthfamily’s heritage can research there too . . . and feel somewhat removed from it . .. since the ancestry there represents the one from which they were removed.

More . . .

It’s just mind boggling to me that while only ten states in our country allow adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates, our country’s viewers enjoy this show.  Clearly, “Who do you think you are?” matters to many people; yet there is a group (a minority) of adopted people who are not allowed to “think about who they are” toooo much.

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