I have always loved to dance. As an adult adoptee, a bio mom, and an adoptive mom, I dance between love and loss regularly. I dance with joy over small victories and small signs of acceptance. I dance to escape pain and to avoid obvious rejection from my family(ies). Let me continue to dance with the pain, the understanding, the surrender, His plan, and not faint.

 During orientation for Nick’s classes, his U.S. History instructor shared that the students’ main project would be a family history project.  He handed out a list of 39 questions that perhaps living grandparents could answer.  My parents, Scott’s parents . . . all of that is fine.  But I went up (angrily) and asked for extra copies.  I wanted to send my birthdad those 39 questions and “demand” that he answer them now.  I had to do a small family tree project in 6th grade, and it never crossed my mind that I would/could include my birthfamily in it.  I had no choice.  I did not know any of them.  So answer them NOW!  We want to know them NOW!!

I do know names/faces/ages/birthdays/some stories, . . . and I wonder if Nick is thinking AT ALL about including them.  This all makes the project more complicated–unless of course he does what I did:  just lop off part of the tree.  😦

Also, as the instructor was describing the project, he mentioned that he realized some students my not be able to do such a project . . . everyone has different family situations, etc.  He was being kind and offering some other suggestions.  A mother next to me shoved her daughter in the shoulder in front of me, and teasingly tried to insult her with “You’re adopted” as if to say that she would be one of those students who wouldn’t be able to do the project.


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